invitation you can't decline

So. I sit here with my.. hot chocolate next to me and a glass of water. It is currently 12:46 AM and probably around, oh let's say 70-80 degrees outside. Obviously, fellow people with no lives (i.e.: Bryce and Kevin) are online and we are just having the time of our lives chatting (half sarcasm.. no, it's nice to talk to people).
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If you're a guy, you'd probably be better off with not hearing about this:
I'm speculating about my menstrual cycle and PMS. I don't think I'm PMSing, but I swear I've never been this emotional in a long time.
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But, as Ryan and I just broke up and are suffering from our relationship-oriented maladies, it is slightly understandable, I suppose. I do miss him though and regret our relationship having to end. It has been quite a rollercoaster ride.

I'm just recollecting myself. I think I should take up meditating again. Yes, that'd be nice. Definitely. I just need to relax. I had that inner peace, it's still there but what happened to it? I know that everything will be okay, but now I find myself looking for reassurance through people who cannot deliver this reassurance. Nobody can deliver this reassurance but God, and so pondering this I can probably conclude that I haven't been looking in the right places and have been ditching God for other people.

But, you see, it's so much easier to trust the people here on earth because you know that they're physically there and that they're real. However, honestly I think that's where people get wrong. Yes, it is easier to trust people and to assume that they're real. But God is the most real thing you can get. And, I know that it's hard to trust God when it's hard enough to trust "real" people, but God is the truth. A person should always trust the truth, even when they want to deny that the truth is real. Because the truth is the only real thing that people can rely on; God is the only real thing that people can rely on. I think I need to work trusting God more and going to him, but it's so hard when he doesn't respond directly. But that's the mystery of it all. Life is meant to be a mystery. And plus, it makes you grow individually and independently, knowing that God will make everything turn up all right but that you need to make the decisions and look for the "signs" and whatnot.

Hmm. I really don't know where I was going with that.