leaving for china

I am FINALLY content with my life. Like, I've finally found this inner peace that doesn't care about all the wordly pleasures. My relationship with God is remarkable, but I know that it could be better. Exceptional. But I'll continue pressing onward. Yes, I still suffer from temptation, and okay I'll give into it a couple of times. I fail. I fail miserably. But part of failing is trying again and not giving up. My life has finally fallen into focus.

I told Bryce the other day that (yes Ryan it's another of Lauren's laurenisms) I liken life to a photograph. You know how when, on a photograph, if you take a picture of something close up everything else is blurry in the background? Technically speaking, that's called the field of depth. Whenever I'm thinking about "God being the primary focus" I think about a picture of some type of fruit on a tree. Only the fruit is in focus and everything is blurred out. However, there are times in life when my "field of depth" gets a little screwed up and instead of just focusing on one thing, everything else comes into focus and it gets jumbled up--sooner or later I can't tell what is supposed to be in focus and what isn't supposed to be in focus. But, I have finally learned to reassess my field of depth; now I can only see the fruit in my picture. Yes, there is a background and there are other things in my life, but without the fruit--the object of the picture, the point of the picture, the whole purpose of the picture, what would this picture be? Just a blur.

I'm off to China today. I'll be back in two weeks.

I bought some pretty cool books to keep me occupied and I'm going to write tonnnsss of postcards (I have everyone's address!!) :). If you want me to call when I get back, just tell me or you can call because I will definitely be back by 4-5 on Saturday the 15th.

And Ryan--I promise to come back alive.

I will miss everyone. Grosses bises :)!

(PS I actually wrote this yesterday--June 30th, but yeah). And, HAPPY 8TH MONTH RYAN!

All righty. Au revoir and God bless everyone.